Sometimes It Rains
by nytecat
Summary: Shizuru visits Natsuki during Spring break. Their relationship is not as rosy as she envisioned it to be. Takes place a few years after the Carnival.


_Title: Sometimes It Rains_

_Author's note: This story came to me when I was lying on my bed some nights ago while listening to the rainstorm. Also was inspired by Edison's 'Don't Look Back' haunting instrumental. _

_Edited – 21 Jan 07 – realised that I did not correct the grammatical mistakes Hoppy-Chan had earlier graciously pointed out._

The small kitchenette basked in the golden light of a cheerful morning. Delicious smells of sizzling seafood and buttery batter were underscored by a happy humming.

With practised ease, Shizuru fished out the crackling dumplings from the wok with her long wooden cooking chopsticks and placed them in an artistic arc on two small, blue-trimmed white oval plates. She studied the meal as she tapped a thoughtful forefinger against her lips. Something was missing. She let out a delighted laugh when she realised what it was.

The tall brunette quickly scanned the spices and condiments that were lined up along the marble side counter. She selected a small cream-coloured squeeze bottle. There...perfect. Five large fried shrimp dumplings now nestled next to a generous dash of mayonnaise. A fitting bait for a hungry wolf. Shizuru could not help but smile at that devilish thought.

She carried the dishes out to the low wooden coffee table in the living area. Shizuru set the plates on opposite ends of the table then meticulously laid out the silver chopsticks on their porcelain stands. Once the table was set, she dusted her hands and doffed the pale blue apron she was wearing; tossing it carelessly on the sofa. Settling herself comfortably on a plump cushion on the wood tiled floor, she poured out hot green tea from the teapot into two yunomi cups.

"Natsuki," Shizuru called out. "Breakfast's ready!"

There was a deathly silence followed by a jarring loud crash. She heard a hysterical curse then a violent commotion from the bedroom. Minutes passed... suddenly, Natsuki exploded forth from the bedroom room, half-dressed in her grey and red biker outfit.

"Sorry, Shizuru! I have to go to work now." Natsuki yelled. "Gargh, I'm late!"

"Late?" the Kyoto woman queried. She looked at the digital wall clock then consulted her elegant slim wristwatch. It was a quarter past seven. They had all the time in the world until nine o' clock.

"Yeah... unnh! They changed the times of the shifts. I now start earlier...argh...at eight. Didn't I...ack... tell you?"

Her love's rapid fire reply was frantic as the woman tried to simultaneously zip up her suit, shrug into her jacket and pull on a boot while hopping her way to the door. The other boot was tucked haphazardly under an arm.

"What about breakfast?" Shizuru wanted to know. She tried to keep the petulant edge out of her voice. She wasn't sure if she succeeded.

Natsuki did not notice or chose to ignore it. She stamped into her other boot, zipped up her suit and snatched up her helmet by the door. "I'll grab a nigiri from the store!" The woman sounded out of breath and slightly annoyed. She was late. Why couldn't Shizuru understand that?

The biker woman wrestled the door open as she finally tamed her jacket and put it on. She stopped and looked at Shizuru. For a moment, they stared at each other wordlessly. Then, Natsuki smiled her heart-stopping smile.

"Look...I'm...I'm sorry, Shizuru," Natsuki offered softly. Her voice was stiff with embarrassment.

Shizuru's hurt feelings melted away. She returned Natsuki's smile with a small one of her own.

"Have a nice -" Shizuru started to say.

The door slammed shut.

"- day," she finished quietly.

It had happened again. Natsuki had left without a goodbye. Shizuru bowed her head, cradling her face in her hands. Her tears fell soundlessly. The silence seemed to echo with them.

* * *

The tower of dishes clacked and tottered dangerously to one side. With an explosive expletive, Natsuki barely managed to save a dish from meeting a hideous end. She elbowed the stack of dripping dishes back from the counter's tiled edge. 

The raven haired beauty sighed and rubbed a sore temple, forgetting that her fingers dripped with soap suds. She was stuck on kitchen duty again. Specifically, dish washing. Why? Because dishes don't get scared. Natsuki frowned. So, what if she couldn't sound as cutesy as Mai when she was pretending to be cheerfully polite?

The whinny words of that pompous balding manager haunted her. You're too gruff and rough for our customers, Kuga-san. Natsuki glowered darkly, furiously rinsing a bowl off. This was all Mai's fault. Mai and her 'Get a job, Natsuki! It'll help you learn discipline and concentrate better on your exams!'

"Natsuki!"

Speak of the redhead devil... Natsuki thought darkly.

Mai Tokiha breezed into the kitchen and surveyed the mountain of unwashed dishes.

"Geez, why are you so slow today? The manager's going to blow his top if he sees you slacking off in here."

Strangely, her close friend did not answer with a smart retort but continued to wash the dishes glumly, her movements jerky. Mai swallowed a sigh and went to the next sink. She began to help Natsuki to lower her workload. She didn't want her friend to get yelled at her boss. Also, considering, that is, that it was Mai who introduced Natsuki to the job, the manager might yell at her too. Sometimes, her boss could be a total... Mai shook her head suddenly, breaking that line of thought.

The woman studied her friend from the corner of her eye. Natsuki had her head bent over her work, studying each dirty dish as if it were an ancient archaeological wonder before immersing it in soapy water and rinsing it clean. Her movements were methodical, almost robotic. Even Miyu, their resident android, moved more fluidly than that when she was severely injured.

"Natsuki, what's wrong?" Mai asked softly.

Rinse, wash, rinse and repeat.

"Nothing," Natsuki answered just as softly.

Rinse, wash, rinse and repeat.

"Natsuki..."

The biker woman sighed resignedly. When Mai used that troubled tone, you had better answer her or she'll drag the reply out of you. The experience was usually more painful than getting all your wisdom teeth pulled...without anaesthetic.

"Oh, oh alright! It's Shizuru..."

Rinse, wash, rinse and repeat.

Rinse, wash, rinse and repeat.

"Well, weren't you the one who invited her to stay at your apartment and not a hotel this spring break?" Mai asked finally.

"Yes, I..."

"So... it has been nearly two weeks now, hasn't it?"

Natsuki glared at a large greasy dish. She exercised undue force in cleaning it. Her reply was mumbled.

"She's cramping my routine."

Mai wasn't sure if she had heard correctly. She repeated her friend's words in her head for a moment. She could not hold back her rising tide of anger. "Natsuki!"

"Okay, okay," Natsuki answered quickly. A furious Mai was a fearsome phenomenon - even without her HiME powers. "It's more than that...I...I just don't know what to do. It's weird, you know?"

So, that was it. Natsuki was using that incident as an excuse for hiding her feelings away from Shizuru. This time, Mai did not hold back her sigh. She even tsked loudly so that Natsuki could hear her above sound of running water. It got the raven haired woman's attention.

"Sometimes, I think Nao's right," Mai muttered irately.

"What? What did that brat say?" Natsuki asked surprised, and more than a bit defensively. She looked at her friend in confusion, forgetting the dripping dish in her hand.

"She said that when it comes to relationships, you have lard for brains."

"What!"

Mai shot her a narrowed accusing look. "It's true."

"Why? What did I do?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all," Mai answered tartly as she turned off the faucet, dried her hands on the hanging wash towel and stormed out of the kitchen.

This left Natsuki alone with piles of dirty dishes, her jumbled thoughts and a claustrophobic sense of guilt. She rubbed an aching temple, trying to ignore the jabbing pains above her right eye and stabbing fire at the back of her skull. The headache was much, much worse than it had been this morning. This morning... oh crap, I didn't say goodbye to Shizuru...again.

"Ah! Damn it!" Natsuki swore as she swept a stack of clean dishes off the counter. Another stack instantly joined its compatriot on the floor.

Almost before the last dish met its tragic end, the manager's voice exploded from the front of the restaurant.

"KUGA-SAN!"

* * *

The door bell chimed, announcing the entrance of a beautiful tall brunette and handsome dark-haired man into Linden Baum. The couple paused as waves of boisterous chatter flowed over them. A mahogany-haired teenage girl dressed in the diner's frilly waitress costume stepped forward to greet them but then paused and stared. She could not take her eyes off the brunette who seemed the embodiment of elegance in her pale blue dress. 

"So beautiful..." the brown-haired girl breathed breathlessly then blushed furiously. Did she just say that out loud?

Both the brunette and man heard. The man chuckled softly while the brunette offered a dazzling smile in return. The girl thought her heart would explode from the beauty of it.

"My, my, aren't you a sweet one?" Shizuru laughed, raising a delicate hand to her cheek in a dainty gesture of surprise. Her crimson eyes twinkled with warmth as she seemed to study the girl from head to toe. Her smile grew warmer.

"My name is Arika. Arika Yumemiya. I will be your waitress today," the girl hurriedly introduced herself as she led them to a corner booth overlooking the flowerbeds and sleepy streetscape outside.

They ordered a pot of Mandarin tea with chocolate wafers. Shizuru watched Arika bounce away to fetch their refreshments. The girl reminded her of Natsuki at that age. Well, Natsuki without all the darkness that shadowed her. But when Arika smiled, she looked like how Natsuki did in those rare unguarded moments. It was happiness, pure happiness. How long has it been since Shizuru seen Natsuki smile that way? The thought made her shiver.

"A penny for your thoughts?"

Shizuru glanced at her male companion. Reito Kanzaki smiled. Dressed in a long sleeved charcoal grey turtle neck and black trousers, he made a dashing figure. Reito was the incarnate of masculine gorgeousness. He knew it and used it to his advantage on all the girls. Luckily, Shizuru was immune to his charms.

"I don't think they're worth that much any more," Shizuru answered bitterly, looking down at her tightly laced fingers.

Reito glanced at Shizuru sharply. It was not like the secretive, seductive, sophisticated woman to be so...open about her feelings. Something was definitely wrong. Before he could pursue the matter, Arika arrived with their tea. She bustled about as Shizuru stared at her with that intense burning gaze. The girl noticed it, blushing as she poured the tea into their cup before scurrying away.

The university sophomore frowned at his companion who took a sip of tea. It was strange that Shizuru would stare at any girl that way. Flirt, yes but she only had eyes for Natsuki. It was no secret that Shizuru's heart belonged to that raven-haired beauty.

"I have never seen you look depressed before, Shizuru. What is the matter?" Reito asked gently. He did not mean to pry and he honestly did not know why he gave a damn but something in Shizuru's eyes made him try to reach out. Maybe he was hanging around Mai too much.

The brunette seemed intent on stirring her tea. Her face was devoid of emotion, her voice was guarded despite its teasing tone. "Reito, is it too much to ask for some light-hearted conversation? You tell me about your university conquests, I laugh and say 'how you are still the same lecher you were in high school.'"

Reito grinned good-naturedly, refusing to rise to her clumsy bait. Something was definitely wrong with Shizuru to be acting this way. "Shizuru, I think of you as a friend. A good friend. I'm only concerned that's all."

Something in his tone made her glance up. He sounded so sincere. Could this be Mai's doing? Shizuru studied at her ex-Vice President and former classmate for a moment, considering silently if she should tell him. His brown eyes told her she could trust him, if only this once.

"It's Natsuki..."

Reito expelled a soft irritated sigh. So it was as he suspected. That girl's brains must be rotten with all the exhaust fumes she's been inhaling from her bike. Shizuru must be crushed. For a moment, Reito felt something close to genuine compassion.

"I'm so sorry to hear that. When did you both break up?"

"No, it's not that!" Shizuru answered quickly, defensively then looked away. She folded her arms, clasping herself unconsciously. "We just...haven't been talking to each other for a long time." She stared at the still surface of her tea. "A very long time."

Reito could not stand that pained, defeated look in her eyes. It was not like Shizuru to give up. He had been the first to notice the love Shizuru had for Natsuki Kuga. It had blossomed all those long years ago before the Carnival started. Before Reito could reply, a surprised cry interrupted him.

"Shizuru-san!"

They both turned to look to see Mai approaching their table. The busty redhead was dressed in white jeans and a red and white striped blouse. At her side was Tate, dressed in an orange t-shirt and khaki pants.

"Oh hello, Mai," Shizuru cheerfully greeted the red-head with a disarming smile. "Is Natsuki still working in the kitchen?"

Mai looked away and scratched her cheek with a fingertip. Shizuru's heart froze. When Mai did that, she was thinking up a lie or trying to avoid the issue. It took both the combined interrogating skills of Reito and Shizuru to make Mai spill the beans. Mai offered her apologies and left with Tate to continue their date at another table.

Reito watched them go, his eyes dark with envy. The chink of china brought him back to the present. Shizuru was refilling their tea cups, her face a picture of serenity yet the slight trembling in her hands betrayed her.

"It's too bad about Natsuki. But she wouldn't like working here anyway," Reito said with a laugh. "Not enough action!"

"She didn't call me..." Shizuru whispered softly to herself but Reito heard her.

The sophomore sighed. He was used to women swooning in his arms, not this. He was used to smiling, giggling girls not angst-ridden ones. Shizuru, Shizuru needed to forget about her depression. She needed to smile... an idea came to him.

"Say, I'll be meeting my sister after this. We're going to see the movie, 'Happy Feet'. Want to come? Mikoto can be...a handful to handle sometimes."

Shizuru did smile then. She had forgotten how charming and sweet Reito could be when he really wanted to. And here he was, trying so hard, so earnestly to be a good friend. Her smile grew warmer.

"Thanks but no thanks. I wouldn't want to be a third wheel. Besides, I thought I would pop by the Student Council and give a quick hello to Yukino."

Reito smirked nastily. "You mean, give her hell."

Reito and Shizuru laughed together at that. They both knew that the ex-President would tease and torment the poor mousy girl by sticking her nose into Student Council business until she grew bored of it. Then take the girl out for cake as an apology.

Reito glanced outside and saw a pair of butterflies, one violet, the other blue, land on the blooming roses outside. Shizuru wondered what had caught the dark-haired man's attention. She looked outside and stared transfixed at the butterflies and they danced from rose to rose. Maybe it was the yearning in her expression or maybe he felt heroically poetic at that moment but Reito decided to offer some advice to his friend whether she wanted to hear it or not.

"A woman's heart is like holding a butterfly. You have to be delicate or otherwise you will crush it. Don't you agree, Shizuru?"

The shadowed look was back for an instant, dispelled suddenly by Shizuru's trademark flippant smile. Her tone was teasing but the look in her eyes held a cold warning.

"Go play Romeo elsewhere, Reito."

Reito angrily stood to leave, hesitated then put a hand on her shoulder in solemn apology. Shizuru covered it for a moment, squeezing gently as she too silently apologised for her abrupt rudeness. On his way out, Reito stopped by the cashier to pay their bill.

Shizuru stared at the pair of butterflies as they took off to the air together. What you said may be true, Reito, but it's hard to hold a butterfly if it won't even come to your finger.

Outside, the sky darkened as black clouds swept in from the horizon.

* * *

It was dinner time when the door to the apartment finally opened. Natsuki stepped through, looking more than a tad grumpy. She kicked off her wet boots, shrugged out of her sopping jacket, tore off her helmet and let it and her jacket thump onto the floor. 

That vile, obnoxious son of a... Natsuki ranted furiously in her mind. Her thoughts trailed off when she realised that the apartment was in total darkness. She hadn't come home to a dark apartment in two weeks since Shizuru...wait, where was Shizuru? Could something have happened to her? Natsuki's eyes roved the room but her night vision had not yet kicked in. All she could make out were shadowy shapes.

"Shizuru? Shizuru? Shizuru!"

On her third step into the apartment, she saw her flatmate sprawled out on the couch, sleeping. Even in sleep, she managed to maintain a dignified air. Natsuki could not help but smile at the serene countenance on Shizuru's face. Natsuki crept towards the couch and stealthily sat down. She leaned forward to kiss Shizuru on the cheek. She was mere millimetres away when her hand pressed down on the remote control by accident.

The wide-screen LCD television hanging on the wall blazed to life, displaying the evening news. It sounded like the business segment. Shizuru turned her head towards the sound as she woke. Natsuki was too startled to draw away. Their lips met and locked.

"Mmmm..." Shizuru murmured sleepily. Her arms reached up and tried to pull Natsuki down to her. The raven-haired woman resisted and broke the kiss. Natsuki broke her embrace and moved to the foot of the couch.

"Natsuki?" Shizuru asked, puzzled, as she sat up. She touched her lips with her fingertips. The warmth of Natsuki still lingered there. Or did she imagine it?

The biker woman seemed to shiver. She drew up a leg and hugged it to herself. "Sorry to wake you, Shizuru. Did you have a good dream?" She asked softly with downcast eyes.

The brunette frowned as she tried to shake off the dream-fog that still covered her mind. Had she been dreaming? No wait, she was damp. Natsuki was dripping wet. So, it had not been a dream. But why?...

Shizuru stared at her love who had not looked at her once.

The woman giggled, covering her mouth with a hand. Her next words almost broke her heart into two. "Yes, it was a very good dream."

Natsuki was silent for a moment. Her eyes stared at the television unseeingly. Her words were toneless. "That's good to hear."

The dark room was filled with the weight of repressed emotions. Shizuru waited, hoping that Natsuki would speak. But when the silence grew too much to bear, Shizuru strength of will wilted.

"Natsuki."

"Shizuru."

They both burst out at the same time. Shizuru stared at Natsuki's dark remorseful green eyes. She felt a glimmer of hope. "Yes, Natsuki?"

Natsuki looked away. "Never mind. Forget it," she muttered in reply. To herself: you, little coward!

Shizuru lowered her head as she wrestled with her emotions. She never thought her heart could break into so many pieces. She never knew those shards could shred her soul into ribbons. She did not know how to reach out to her. Natsuki looked miserable in her wet clothes.

"Ara! My poor Natsuki is dripping wet. You better take a shower while I'll fix up some hot tea," Shizuru exclaimed as she pounced off the couch and ran to the kitchenette. She made it to her haven before the first tears began to fall.

Natsuki nodded as she got up from the couch. On the way to her bedroom to collect some dry clothes, she paused by the kitchenette door. What Mai had said earlier tormented her. Was it her fault that she could not forget what had happened to her and Shizuru during the Carnival?

"Hey, Shizuru, want to go for a ride?"

Shizuru paused in the act of ladling in the tea leaves into the pot. She had already wiped her eyes dry with an apron when she heard Natsuki's approaching footsteps. She cocked her head slightly, listening to the drum of thunder and patter of rain.

"Natsuki, it's raining rather heavily. Don't you think it's a bit dangerous to go for a ride now?"

As always, even the remotest relation to that incident triggered a flashback for Natsuki. A coldness swept through her; her soul shivered then shrivelled. She would never forget but she would forgive. Well, she would try to forgive. The woman rubbed her aching head and went to the bedroom.

Shizuru's voice floated from the kitchenette.

"I heard you had a bad day."

Natsuki opened a drawer in the oak bureau and pulled out a pair of white shorts and a blue t-shirt. She frowned, wondering how Shizuru knew. Then she guessed. Mai, that snitch! "Yeah... guess you could call it that."

She heard Shizuru set the teapot and tea cups on the table in the living area then move away. Shizuru reached her as Natsuki emerged from the bedroom. The older woman effectively blocked her way to the bathroom. The raven-haired woman was surprised to see a sombre expression on her face.

"Natsuki, I don't like to see you in pain. Tell me what's wrong, please," Shizuru said softly as she took Natsuki's face in her hands, tilting it upwards so she could look down into her green eyes.

The biker woman looked into Shizuru's red eyes. She could see her own wretched reflection in them. I don't want this, I'm sorry Shizuru, she said silently to herself. Aloud, she said: "Nothing's wrong, Shizuru. I just have a migraine right now."

Natsuki disengaged herself gently and went into the bathroom. She shut the bathroom door quickly so she did not have to see the unshed tears in Shizuru's eyes.

* * *

The fist hit the ceramic tiles with a loud smack. Then again and again. Shizuru stopped herself when the pain grew unbearable. Her hand trembled with it but that was nothing compared to the anguish she felt in her heart. 

It was her turn to shower. Natsuki had come out of the bathroom and sat to watch the television without a word. Shizuru made her excuses and went to the solace of the bathroom to think. The warmth of the skin-stripping hot water could not rid herself of the coldness she felt inside.

As always, she began a litany of excuses. _Natsuki is tired_. She had just come back from work. _Natsuki is glum_. She had just got fired from work. _Natsuki is stressed_. She had all those extra classes and cram school to make up her grades. _Natsuki has a lot on her mind_. She still needed to deal with the emotions that her mother's betrayal brought up in her. _Natsuki does not love me_. Shizuru gasped. That was new. Where did that thought come from? Yet, like a weed, the darkness seeded by that dismal revelation spread through her heart and would not go away. _Natsuki does not love me_...

Dazed, Shizuru turned off the faucet and stumbled out of the stall. She shivered in the damp air as she reached for the towel on the metal rack, careless of the wet rug in front of the stall and slipped. The towel and her fell backwards onto stall's wet floor. It happened so fast that she did not even have time to yell.

The woman lay there for a moment, trying to catch her breath. The floor tiles were bitingly cold. It sliced through skin and bone causing Shizuru to shiver and sneeze. She could not stop shivering. As she sat up, Shizuru cursed. The towel was a sodden mess.

Shizuru got up and made her way to the door, her hip and back bruised. She leaned against the door, sliding down it.

"Natsuki? Natsuki," Shizuru called out.

Shizuru could have baked a cake in the time it took Natsuki to answer her. Or, at least, that was how it seemed to her. Natsuki's voice floated through the timber aeons later. She sounded bored and unconcerned.

"Yeah?"

Shizuru bit a trembling lip. She would not cry. She was surprised to feel the tears leak from her eyes and cascade onto the floor. After several moments, she took a shaky breath and faked the cheeriness in her voice.

"I've gotten my towel wet by accident. Could you please fetch me another?"

Even through the door, she heard the irritated sigh and angry thumps of her love's footsteps as the woman stalked away.

* * *

Natsuki woke to a loud thump. She had fallen asleep in front of the television. The short nap had done her migraine a world of good. She wondered where that thump could have come from. Suddenly she heard Shizuru call her. It took some time before Natsuki could make her body obey her and go to the bathroom door. 

Coming out of the guest bedroom with a towel, Natsuki got hit by a blast of chilled air causing the biker woman to shiver and snuff back a sneeze. It was cold. In this damp, chilly air, Shizuru must be freezing, she realised in sudden dismay.

She put it in the mini dryer she had in laundry area. One of the perks of being rich was having a dryer when most apartments did not have one. She baked the cotton towel for several minutes. As she took out the toasty towel from the dryer, a thought occurred to her. Shizuru had been doing nice gestures like this throughout her stay her. Making her breakfast. Greeting her at the door. Shizuru really loves me, Natsuki realised. And I love her. I love her.

I am such an idiot, Natsuki thought to herself as she rapped on the bathroom door.

* * *

A sharp rap on the door jolted her out of her thoughts. Shizuru pulled herself together and got to her feet. She opened the door a crack, prepared to snatch the towel away but Natsuki had other plans. She pushed the door opened gently and wrapped Shizuru in the towel. 

Shizuru hugged it to herself. 'It's warm', she thought to herself in surprise. She looked at Natsuki in wonder. The woman had her gaze averted.

"Shizuru..."

Natsuki's voice sounded strange.

"Yes, Natsuki?"

She's going to say it. She's going to break up with me. But, we never actually started dating yet so. So, she's going to ask me to leave. Shizuru watched the woman she loved take a deep breath as if to steady herself. She's going to say...

"You are beautiful," Natsuki whispered with a smile, raising her gentle green eyes to meet Shizuru's startled gaze. "Have I ever told you that?"

Natsuki watched Shizuru's face undergo a dramatic transformation. First, she looked surprised, her charming red eyes stunned. Then she blushed and lowered her head. A few tears crept from her closed eyes. Natsuki wanted to wipe them away but Shizuru quickly raised her head to look at her. Her eyes shimmered as she smiled her heart-stopping smile. Her face lit up with the brilliance of it.

"All the time," Shizuru answered, choking a little around the sudden tightness in her throat.

"I love you, Shizuru," Natsuki said softly as she cupped Shizuru's face in her hands, using her thumbs to gently brush away the wetness on her love's cheeks. Shizuru, my precious one. Natsuki ached with the need to kiss those soft sweet lips. "Have I told you that lately?"

"Yes...all the time..."

As Natsuki kissed her, Shizuru had one last thought before it was incinerated in the scorching love emanating from the other woman. Throughout rain or shine, I will always stand by you, Natsuki.


End file.
